1. No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If you sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
7. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
8. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
9. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
10. School lunches stick to the wall.
11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
12. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
13. The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.