If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the guy who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen ...and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things ifferently than we do - to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his gems:

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
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Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
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Half the people you know are below average.
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99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
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All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
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The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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The part 2 of Steven Wright Sayings

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Added : 15.10.2004
Categories: Sayings
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