Jokes
CHOOSE CATEGORY
Bad Nuns

One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

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Things Not To Say In Bed

1. But everybody looks funny naked! 2. You woke me up for that? 3. Did I mention the video camera?

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Elk Hunting

Dave and Bo went elk hunting every year. The forest was so thick that they had to hire a helicopter to take them in and out.

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Low cost home security

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

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Husband wanted

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.

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Flight In Jeopardy

A Northwest flight while enrout from Houston to Minneapolis lost an engine.

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True Love

A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together.

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Love Life Problems

A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but didn't seem to be getting a clear picture of the problems.

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The wish

One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before.

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A young naval student
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
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Victoria 's Secret

A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.

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Have a life after death
Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
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Alligator in a Bar

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar.

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How golf is like urinating in a public restroom
10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width ...
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The Tourist

A tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house.

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Lucky Frog

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.

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The Dancing Duck

A circus owner walked into a shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.

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New years resolutions you can keep
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.2. Stop exercising. ...
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Circle

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver.

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Want a day off work?

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for.

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Airplane Ride
A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
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My wife is having an affair
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar....
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How much will she cost me?
After God had created Adam he noticed that he looked ...
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Are any idiots in the room?
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they ...
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Only one wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

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Smart Dogs

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter...

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Horse Auction

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.

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Christmas office party

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

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The apple and the lawyer

How is an apple like a lawyer?

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Invitation for supper

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

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