A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep." "Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
A highway patrol officer has admitted writing "kitchen bitch" as the occupation of a Greymouth teenager on an infringement ticket he issued her.
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.
Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.
docsigma2000: jesus christ man, my son is sooooooo dead...
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed.
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
Little Jimmy was laying about on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God.
There was a beer party going on in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain.
Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his Computer is faulty.
Apparently, this is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at "Zantex Computers", Australia, to his boss, J Pilgrim. His boss, known as Pilly, apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
The following is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship off the coast of England, and some British authority.
A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to find the most embarrassing moments in the lives of their listeners.