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Only one wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

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Idiots on the computer

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

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Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.

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Safe Smoking
One day two old ladies were standing outside the nursing home casually having a smoke. After being outside for a while it started to rain on them.
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Talking to god

Little Jimmy was laying about on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God.

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The Barbecue
Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing: It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.
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The Barbecue

Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing: It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.

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The simple answer

This concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

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Belgian Hole Diggers

Thomas and Maxim were working for Provinciale Ontwikkelingsmaatschappij Antwerpen (they take care of the roads in Antwerp). One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind and fill the hole in.

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Kiss And Slap

A young technician and his general manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

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Cake
One day this little girl and her mother went for a walk. the little girl saw 2 dogs humping. The little girl asked her mother "mommy what are those dogs doing. Her mother said " honey there making cakes...
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Smart monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and, while he's nursing it, the monkey runs wild.
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Sick Again
Two guys were working for the city. One would furiously dig a hole, then the other would come behind him and quickly fill the hole.
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Beer troubleshooting
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
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Smart professor
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weeken
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Einstein's chauffeur
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work.
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Paying dues

One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven rightaway.

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Hard workers
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks. The man was quite impressed with their ...
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Drunk
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and g
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displaying 61-90 from a total of 233