b tech jokes

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Idiots on the computer

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

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2004 Darwin awards

Yes, these are (apparently) all true.

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Kiss And Slap

A young technician and his general manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

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Tech support
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
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Dear Pc Tech
Dear PC Tech, I upgraded last year from Fiance 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I observed that the new software started to do unexpected changes to the accounting sheets, restricted my access to the Flower and Jewelry applications, which earlier, under Fiance
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High-Tech restroom
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the
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High-Tech Restroom

A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room.

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Nosmoke

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his Computer is faulty.

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They'll hack into my PC!
Customer: "Well, I just want to know if I load ...
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Where are all the flying cars, asks man released after 27 years
A man who spent 27 years in jail for a ...
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Right-click
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
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Iraq one liners
Q. What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
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Computers in Movies
Have you noticed anything weird about computers when they appear in movies? Have a look and you will remember seeing ...
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Bird Question
A blonde named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin. Regis: "Pam, you're up ...
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Military quotes

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." -Infantry Journal, "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.." -U.S. Air Force Manual

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Moral Maze

Q1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

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Christmas in West Virginia
  Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the ...
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The Truest Definition of Globalization
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: ...
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Chinese translations
Dung On Mai Shu -- I stepped in excrement Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu --Let's sleep together Ar U Wun ...
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Driving Styles
Depending on where someone is from and where they are driving you can make some assumptions about their driving styles and etiquette...
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Pround Blonde Student
A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the ...
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Michael Jackson
Top Ten Ways Michael Jackson Would Be Cooler if He Lived in the Star Wars Universe
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Tools of the Trade
Over the years, people have often asked me to explain the various concepts of marketing. The following analogies might help ...
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ABC's of ex girlfriends
Ais for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ...
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Letter of resignation

Apparently, this is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at "Zantex Computers", Australia, to his boss, J Pilgrim. His boss, known as Pilly, apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

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Facts About Men
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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The shepherd

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

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Flight In Jeopardy

A Northwest flight while enrout from Houston to Minneapolis lost an engine.

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displaying 1-28 from a total of 28