I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.
After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
Subject: Membership Renewal
One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
Next time you think that you're having a bad day recall that...
A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home.
1. But everybody looks funny naked! 2. You woke me up for that? 3. Did I mention the video camera?