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big ass jokes

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A Big Dog Fight
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner ...
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Big Confusion
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?
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Bullfight Buffet
A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day.
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The clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

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The nonconformist bird
There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter. He said "I've had enough of this flying south every winter, I'll just stay right here on this farm, what's the big deal, anyway?"...
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School days
One day Johnny is in class, and his teacher asigns him to make up a sentence and a word for the letter F. So the next day when the teacher asked him to read out his sentence and word he chose he replies with..
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Smart monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and, while he's nursing it, the monkey runs wild.
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Rules for women
Ahhhhh. Finally a set of rules that make sense. Ladies, please pay attention to these: We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
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Deep hole

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep." "Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

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A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
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Johnny Lies
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. ...
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Driving Styles
Depending on where someone is from and where they are driving you can make some assumptions about their driving styles and etiquette...
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Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.

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Worst Day
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.
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Wasting your time

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.

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Pair of shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

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What is it?
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's rig
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Blind Dog
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. They come to a busy ...
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Christmas Signs
Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." -------Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."-------Outside a church: "The Original Christmas Club.
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