A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.
Tough Being A Guy
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat.
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.
Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.
Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat, which sank the same day that John's wife died.
One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus.
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.