I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
A circus owner walked into a shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
There was a beer party going on in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain.
Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.