When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
There was a beer party going on in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain.
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver.
Next time you think that you're having a bad day recall that...
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs.
Subject: Membership Renewal
This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn't feel like waking up that morning.
Mommy, Mommy! What's an orgasm?
Thomas and Maxim were working for Provinciale Ontwikkelingsmaatschappij Antwerpen (they take care of the roads in Antwerp). One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind and fill the hole in.
A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home.
This will blow your mind...!
Just do it - don't cheat!!!
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed.