When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
There was a beer party going on in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain.
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver.
Next time you think that you're having a bad day recall that...
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs.
Subject: Membership Renewal
This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn't feel like waking up that morning.
Thomas and Maxim were working for Provinciale Ontwikkelingsmaatschappij Antwerpen (they take care of the roads in Antwerp). One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind and fill the hole in.
Mommy, Mommy! What's an orgasm?
A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home.
Q1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.
One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus.