Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing: It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.
Yes, these are (apparently) all true.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.