feed us jokes

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Feeding
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"
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Rules for women
Ahhhhh. Finally a set of rules that make sense. Ladies, please pay attention to these: We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
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Memories
While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdalemade a wrong turn and ...
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Help to the stranger
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a
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Radio conversation

The following is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship off the coast of England, and some British authority.

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The best divorce letter

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

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Nice Grass
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass ...
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Can you give me a push?

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.

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Deer Hunter
A sportsman, and father of 3 sons, was anxious to share his latest kill with his family for Sunday dinner. ...
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Love Life Problems

A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but didn't seem to be getting a clear picture of the problems.

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Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on

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20 years with my wife
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall.
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Big Confusion
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?
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The shepherd

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

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The camel joke
There's this guy walking along a road to town with his camel. Along the way, a guy stops and ask's if he needs a ride to town. The guy say's, yeah. He hop's in, the driver say's, what about your camel...
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The Rolls Royce
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
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