feed us jokes

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Feeding
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"
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Rules for women
Ahhhhh. Finally a set of rules that make sense. Ladies, please pay attention to these: We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
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Memories
While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdalemade a wrong turn and ...
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Nice Grass
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass ...
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Can you give me a push?

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.

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Help to the stranger
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a
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Radio conversation

The following is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship off the coast of England, and some British authority.

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The best divorce letter

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

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Big Confusion
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?
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The shepherd

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

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The camel joke
There's this guy walking along a road to town with his camel. Along the way, a guy stops and ask's if he needs a ride to town. The guy say's, yeah. He hop's in, the driver say's, what about your camel...
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The Rolls Royce
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
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Bible advice

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show.

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Devil Lawsuit
There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. ...
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Hell under construction
There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ''Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell. The worker agreed --
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