fuck me jokes

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displaying 91-120 out of 239
Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on

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Talking to god

Little Jimmy was laying about on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God.

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Clean hungover
Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing ...
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Lucky Frog

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.

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Partying Husband
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire ...
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Vocabulary day
There was a class and each student had to go up to the front of the class and say a sentence using one of their spelling words. First Juan goes up and his word was love so he says...
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Deer Hunter
A sportsman, and father of 3 sons, was anxious to share his latest kill with his family for Sunday dinner. ...
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The mugger
Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a ...
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At Wal-Mart
A lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her hubbie. She doesn't know which one to get, so walks over to the register. A Wal-mart associate is standing there with sunglasses on. She says, "Excuse me sir ... can you tell me anythi
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Crazy Talk
Cal was out driving in the country, seeing how his new car handled the curvy roads at high speeds. As ...
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The wish

One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before.

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Bird Question
A blonde named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin. Regis: "Pam, you're up ...
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Desert outpost

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks.

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Accident
A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage to the bonnet. There's no ...
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Tools of the Trade
Over the years, people have often asked me to explain the various concepts of marketing. The following analogies might help ...
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Jesus is watching you
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so...
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displaying 91-120 from a total of 239