fuck me jokes

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displaying 91-120 out of 239
No Problem There
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me.
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Did I saw well?
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff. "Howdy, Stranger.&
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Nice Grass
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass ...
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IRS and the gambler

During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and exclaimed "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS fin

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Old Cowhand
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair ...
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Three-Kick Rule
A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a ...
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The game
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the windo
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Scouse vasectomy
After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
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Only one wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

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Rugby Fans
A Welsh rugby fan, a Irish rugby fan and an English fan are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled ...
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Smuggling sand
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"...
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Bad Nuns

One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

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Great Liar
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the ...
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Cakes and Ale

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued...

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Speeding
A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman. "Is there a problem, Officer?" "Yes, madam, you were speeding.
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Blonde Man
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a ...
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Gardening

An elderly Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

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A Good Sleep
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You;ve got to have a ...
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displaying 91-120 from a total of 239