fuck me jokes

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displaying 91-120 out of 239
Nice Grass
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass ...
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IRS and the gambler

During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and exclaimed "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS fin

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Old Cowhand
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair ...
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Three-Kick Rule
A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a ...
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The game
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the windo
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Scouse vasectomy
After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
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Rugby Fans
A Welsh rugby fan, a Irish rugby fan and an English fan are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled ...
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Smuggling sand
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"...
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Only one wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

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Great Liar
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the ...
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Bad Nuns

One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

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Speeding
A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman. "Is there a problem, Officer?" "Yes, madam, you were speeding.
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Cakes and Ale

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued...

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The nonconformist bird
There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter. He said "I've had enough of this flying south every winter, I'll just stay right here on this farm, what's the big deal, anyway?"...
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The Centipede

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man r

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Dear Pc Tech
Dear PC Tech, I upgraded last year from Fiance 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I observed that the new software started to do unexpected changes to the accounting sheets, restricted my access to the Flower and Jewelry applications, which earlier, under Fiance
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Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going ...
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Twenty bucks
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200 he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do thi
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The porch

A beautiful blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman', and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

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3 great kings
Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?
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That's Once
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.
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displaying 91-120 from a total of 239