fuck me jokes

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displaying 211-239 out of 239
Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbor, `BR>`BR>"I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but ...
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Till death do we part
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you.
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Bible advice

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show.

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A theory on hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term: "Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?..
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Heaven and Hell
One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resource Director was tragically hit by a bus and ...
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The Wish
A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant.The waitress asks, "What will it be?"
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Glasgow Girl
An eighteen year-old girl in Glasgow goes home to see her mum and tells her that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shoutin
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Survival
At the plane crash site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As ...
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Christmas Tree
One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip....but there were problems everywhere.
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Wanna Watch
One day at school Little Johnny and his friends were talking. His friend Tom was showing off his new watch ...
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Help to the stranger
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a
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My word

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

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The bathroom confession
One day a priest was in the confessional and he had to go to the bathroom. Not number 1 but number 2. So he opens the door to the confessional and sees Bobby the janitor. He called him over and said,..
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Safe Smoking
One day two old ladies were standing outside the nursing home casually having a smoke. After being outside for a while it started to rain on them.
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The Pirate

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.

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Train
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a ...
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Bad Day
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.
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Revelation and Genesis
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took ou
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