fuck me jokes

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displaying 211-239 out of 239
It's tough being 80
Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that'
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Ring a Bell
A man who was born with no arms wished to seek employment. Fearing nobody would want to hire him with ...
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Love Life Problems

A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but didn't seem to be getting a clear picture of the problems.

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The simple answer

This concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

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Blonde Mail
This guy is sitting outside on his lawn when he sees his blonde neighbor walk outside and check her mailbox. ...
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Blondevision
A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
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Duck hinting
A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to 'enforce the laws pending.' He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?'
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Cat quotes

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction, and a cat. The last ingredient is usually the hardest to come by....

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The nude woman

A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

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The pharmacist
The patient staggered to the pharmacy counter flinching;Say, would you give me something for my head?...
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True Love

A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together.

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Ugly Baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!
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Painting the Porch
Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town ...
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Inflatable Boy
An inflatable pupil goes to his inflatable school and is having a really bad day. Bored in his history lesson, ...
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Tailgating

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelera

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