fuck me jokes

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Can you give me a push?

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.

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The best divorce letter

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

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Wedding test

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister.

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Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.

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Nosmoke

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his Computer is faulty.

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The Nicer Way
A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before ...
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Newlyweds
A young couple got married & went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they got back from the honeymoon, ...
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Johnny Lies
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. ...
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Hospital Patient

A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

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