Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, ...
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results for "get up"
displaying 271-300 out of 355
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, ...
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USA Senior Health Care Solution
So
you're a senior ...
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One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance. The fish said to itself, "If that fly comes six inches closer...
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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The ...
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One day two old ladies were standing outside the nursing home casually having a smoke. After being outside for a while it started to rain on them.
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If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the guy who once said: "I woke up one ...
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HOW TO GIVE A CAT A BATH: FLUSH 'N FLUFF1. ...
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
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Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different! The last few years, I took your advice
Dave and Bo went elk hunting every year. The forest was so thick that they had to hire a helicopter to take them in and out.
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"...
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At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weeken
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You automatically double-knot everything you tie.You find yourself humming ...
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There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter. He said "I've had enough of this flying south every winter, I'll just stay right here on this farm, what's the big deal, anyway?"...
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SINGLE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm avery good looking girl who LOVES to play.
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So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol.
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AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. ...
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One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he ...
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Ahhhhh. Finally a set of rules that make sense. Ladies, please pay attention to these:
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
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Q. Why did Al Gore get a nipple ring?
A.
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Men Are Just Happier PeopleYour last name stays put. The ...
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1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us
...
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A compromise is an agreement whereby both...
One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus.
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of ...
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A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
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In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label ...
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