An elderly Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Cover your stump before you hump....
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number...
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!'
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on