I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Cover your stump before you hump....
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed.
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number...
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!'
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on