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Glasgow Girl
An eighteen year-old girl in Glasgow goes home to see her mum and tells her that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shoutin
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Arthritis
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest.
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Bad Nuns

One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

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Revenge
After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in ...
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The best divorce letter

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

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In the drugstore
A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" "To kill my husband."
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Cat quotes

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction, and a cat. The last ingredient is usually the hardest to come by....

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The clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

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What Now
A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when ...
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High-Tech restroom
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the
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Bullfight Buffet
A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day.
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Hungry cock
A guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken under his arm, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him...
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displaying 181-210 from a total of 337