I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister.
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room.
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.
One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction, and a cat. The last ingredient is usually the hardest to come by....
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.