neked funy a jokes

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displaying 241-270 out of 588
Tailgating

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelera

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My word

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

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Arthritis
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest.
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Christmas Signs
Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." -------Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."-------Outside a church: "The Original Christmas Club.
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Twenty bucks
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200 he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do thi
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Birthday Treat
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks ...
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The traffic notice

A highway patrol officer has admitted writing "kitchen bitch" as the occupation of a Greymouth teenager on an infringement ticket he issued her.

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Revenge
After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in ...
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Smart monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and, while he's nursing it, the monkey runs wild.
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The nonconformist bird
There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter. He said "I've had enough of this flying south every winter, I'll just stay right here on this farm, what's the big deal, anyway?"...
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How old do I look

A 46yr old man gets a facelift for his birthday. When he left he went to the newspaper stand an asked how old do I look.

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Only one wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

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Wrong Email
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy ...
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Lipstick at School
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number ...
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The obedient wife

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the cask

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In the court
This excerpt from court transcript is supposed to be true.Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): May I address the court?
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Vaseline

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a redhead with three small children running around at her feet.

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Super granny

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have

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displaying 241-270 from a total of 588