neked funy a jokes

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In the court
This excerpt from court transcript is supposed to be true.Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): May I address the court?
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Vaseline

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a redhead with three small children running around at her feet.

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Super granny

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have

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The mugger
Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a ...
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Don' t lie to Mom
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate...
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Healthy level of insanity

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity: 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

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Einstein's chauffeur
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work.
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Pharmacist phun

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.

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Blondevision
A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
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Immoral offer

A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door.

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Driving Styles
Depending on where someone is from and where they are driving you can make some assumptions about their driving styles and etiquette...
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Arthritis
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest.
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Christmas Signs
Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." -------Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."-------Outside a church: "The Original Christmas Club.
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Twenty bucks
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200 he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do thi
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Tailgating

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelera

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My word

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

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Birthday Treat
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks ...
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displaying 241-270 from a total of 586