To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction, and a cat. The last ingredient is usually the hardest to come by....
One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister.
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon.
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.