shop jokes

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Pair of shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

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Aligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in ...
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Rats
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat...
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The Centipede

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man r

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Super granny

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have

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How old do I look

A 46yr old man gets a facelift for his birthday. When he left he went to the newspaper stand an asked how old do I look.

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The Dancing Duck

A circus owner walked into a shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.

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Clean hungover
Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing ...
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Little Johnny
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun...
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Wasting your time

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.

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Dont shoot
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a ...
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Granada - Full extras
This man in a Ford Granada pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone in there?" The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
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The shepherd

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

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Barbie dolls

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present.

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The good barber
A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be.
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Lost Bag
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her.
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The barber and the boy

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

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What is it?
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's rig
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