An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
Smart man + smart woman = romance...
A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present.