tron jokes

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The Strongest Bartender
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.
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Strong Man
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of ...
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Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on

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Arthritis
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest.
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Embarrassing moments

A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to find the most embarrassing moments in the lives of their listeners.

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Rules for women
Ahhhhh. Finally a set of rules that make sense. Ladies, please pay attention to these: We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
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Camping trip

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.

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Military quotes

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." -Infantry Journal, "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.." -U.S. Air Force Manual

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Smart monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and, while he's nursing it, the monkey runs wild.
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A Big Dog Fight
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner ...
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NASA Vs Russia
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To ...
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displaying 1-17 from a total of 17