Poisoned food
Never trust your dog... or your wife...
There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the cask
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet.