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Tough Being A Guy

Tough Being A Guy
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

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Deep hole

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep." "Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

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Beer and Ice Cream Diet

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise

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The Pirate

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.

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Friendship
Friendship between women: A woman doesn¢t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house...
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Desert outpost

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks.

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Feeding
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"
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Bored dealers
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table when a very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000 ...
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High-Tech Restroom

A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room.

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Nice Grass
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass ...
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