This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide.
One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly...
There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the cask
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed.
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are living in Florida and are all excited about their decision to get married.
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.
Use of the word "beautiful".
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
Apparently, this is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at "Zantex Computers", Australia, to his boss, J Pilgrim. His boss, known as Pilly, apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.